Sleep Wars

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, there lived a perfect baby who slept through the night, only waking for legitimate reasons and he easily fell back asleep when his mother put him into his bed. Cutie Pie has never met this baby.

For the past few nights, Cutie Pie has been running the show. He hasn't been sleeping well because he's been getting over a cold. Each time he coughs he wakes himself up. Then he's miserable because he wants to be asleep but he's wide awake.

I realized tonight that Cutie Pie's cold is gone but he's still crying each time he wakes up. I also noticed that I am running into his room just like I said I never would do. I heard a wail or shriek and it was like I'm off to the races. I would arrive at his crib side panting. Cutie Pie would just smile. Sometimes he'd even laugh. This is how I knew that if I ever wanted to sleep again, it was time to do something about it.

My favorite baby-bible, "Baby 411" says that six month old babies often develop bad sleep habits and it's time for me to teach my Cutie Pie how to fall asleep properly. I read the chapter on Ferberizing Cutie Pie and the next time Cutie Pie woke up I tried it out.

It was horrible. It was torture. Cutie Pie screamed and wailed. He cried big crocodile tears. I cried too. The first five minutes seemed like five years. I kept reading the line in the book that says "Yes, the first night will be ugly." Yeah, no kidding. But I held strong because I felt like this was the right thing to do.

The phone rang and someone (you know who you are) told me he sounded like he was sick. Thanks for being supportive. Now my Mom-anxiety was running on overdrive. What if he is sick and I just don't know it? He wasn't. What if letting him cry will emotionally scar him for life? I'm pretty sure that won't happen in one night. What if Ferberizing means teaching Cutie Pie to just give up on his goals and I'm sending him down a path of failure? That one was a stretch.

As you can tell, I gave up. I picked up my baby boy. I cuddled and kissed him and he laughed and laughed. Boy is he good. Then we started our bedtime routine over. We rocked, read and nursed until he fell asleep. I laid him down in his crib and tip toed out of the room. I felt like a failure because I caved. But at least he was asleep.

Not two minutes later, the dog barked. I wanted to scream but Cutie Pie did it for me. Here we go again. I would try the technique again. I understood that it would be harder this time because I had already given in but I was prepared. Or so I thought. I don't know how many cycles of the technique I waited because it all seems like an emotional blur. But I caved again and failure never felt so good.

http://theadventuresofcutiepie.blogspot.com/