Another Abandoned Blog

Blogging has fallen to the bottom of the priority list lately as I try to juggle being the mother of an active, walking, falling, whining, running, babbling, nose running, coughing, door opening toddler and managing the "busy season" at work. Life has become a never ending exercise in organization. That pile of paperwork never seems to get any smaller. And since they pay me to work, it must come before blogging.

I have really missed the creative outlet blogging gives me. Each day, when Cutie Pie does something unbelievably cute, I think to myself, "That would make a great blog."

For instance, when Cutie Pie and Da Da invented the "I'm going to get you!" game. I have never heard a sound so beautiful as the giggles and laughs coming from my husband and son playing together. It makes tears come to my eyes just thinking about it.

Cutie Pie has also been discovering new and exciting things around the house. No matter where he is and what he is doing, he keeps one eye on the bathroom door. And if someone should absent mindedly leave it open, Cutie Pie makes a beeline for the toilet, which he thinks is the Best Toy Ever! The best part is that Mommy immediately picks him up when he touches the toilet and washes his hands, another treat. Cutie Pie has begun to associate the toilet with water play. Lucky me!

The most exciting thing to happen lately was when Cutie Pie learned how to open the screen door to the backyard. He loves swinging that door wide open and walking out into the yard all by himself. He's such a big boy now. Unfortunately, he's not always sure on his feet and the other day he tumbled head first into a pile of dirt one of the dogs had just created. Cutie Pie was covered, he even had dirt in his eyes. I resisted the urge to immediately wash him off because it was the first time my baby boy had ever really gotten dirty! Not to worry though, he got a bath soon enough. Which of course, just made his day. Let's hope he doesn't realize that getting filthy gets him a trip to the bathtub or he'll be getting 8 baths a day!

http://theadventuresofcutiepie.blogspot.com

Three Scary Words: Working From Home

In this month's American Baby Magazine, there was an article about how hard it is to work from home. Yeah, no kidding. I work part time at the office and part time at home to keep my full time job. While I'm at the office, I feel overwhelmingly guilty about leaving my child with other people. He loves it. When I'm at home, I put Cutie Pie and playtime first but I'm always thinking in the back of my mind about what files I need to finish next. I can never snap out of my work mode. It's hard to relax and just enjoy being a Mommy when there's a soul-crushing pile of paperwork sitting in the next room.

The article gave tips for carving out time to work but it basically recommended that you find someone else to watch your kid because you can't work and be Mommy at the same time. Thanks for the tip. I make time for work when Cutie Pie is sleeping. The problem is that I bring home about 20 hours of work a week but Cutie Pie does not quite sleep enough for me to complete my work, housework and sleep myself. This is how I end up like I was last week: an exhausted mess, buried under mounds of paperwork. I might actually be happier if I worked from WORK!

But no matter how I look at it, I just can't give up my extra time with Cutie Pie. Working from home is hard but missing Cutie Pie all day is harder.

http://theadventuresofcutiepie.blogspot.com

Not so fast, Mommy!

Every now and then I feel a glimmer of hope that I just might be OK at this whole Mom thing. Just when I start to gain a little confidence and walk a little straighter, Cutie Pie says "Not so fast, Mommy!" BAM! He reminds me who is really in charge of our household.

This morning, Cutie Pie woke up earlier than usual. No worries. That just gave me more time to spend with him before school. He played while I got ready for work and I enjoyed playing peek a boo in between brushing my teeth and looking for my shoes. It was so easy, I felt like I had conquered motherhood.

In my blissfully confident state, I left Cutie Pie to play with his toys in the living room while I quickly ran to the other room to pack my files into my bag. I heard some banging but I figured he was just playing with his favorite stacking toys again. I walked back into the living room after leaving him alone for maybe thirty seconds. In that short time, he had made a bee-line for the dog bowls. In my unrealistic and downright cocky state, I had neglected to remove them from reach. Cutie Pie had poured water all over the kitchen and was in the process of sprinkling dog food into the puddle he had created. I grabbed the broom and swept up the soggy dog food while Cutie Pie splashed on the kitchen floor. When he saw me pick up the food in the dust pan, he cried like I had ruined his day.

Cutie Pie became Mr. Crankypants when I changed him into dry clothes and I realized that my early riser was already in need of a nap. He fell asleep five minutes before it was time to walk out the door. I decided it was better to be a little late than to awaken the Master of the House so I let him rest for a bit while I enjoyed the great luxury of packing the car in peace.

Just when I thought I was getting control over my life again, Cutie Pie let me know who's boss.

http://theadventuresofcutiepie.blogspot.com

Happy at Home

I had to spend two full days at work this week and it was like torture. I don't know how I used to work like that. Working all day means cramming my Cutie Pie quality time into just an hour in the morning and maybe two hours in the evening if he's not too sleepy.

I know that a lot of women work full time and they feel totally satisfied with their situation. I am very happy for them but working in an office full time is just not for me. I was a little excited to go to work on Monday after a long week with a sick baby. But the novelty soon wore off and I found myself thinking about what Cutie Pie was eating for lunch and wondering how long he would nap. These are not the most productive thoughts to have when one is trying to work.

Having a child has made me a much better employee. Anytime I think about slacking off I just imagine how great I will feel when all my tasks are accomplished and I can leave early to pick up my baby from his school. Suddenly, I am full of renewed energy. Cutie Pie is the ultimate carrot.

I'm so glad to be back on my short day schedule. Yes, it means I am much more busy trying to do paper work at home and take care of Cutie Pie. It also means I am exhausted from chasing my little crawler around the house, my skin is dry from excessive use of disinfectant wipes and I spend much of the day with baby food stuck in my hair. But, I love every bit of it.

http://theadventuresofcutiepie.blogspot.com

Balance

Cutie Pie is learning to crawl. He is getting so close to figuring it out that I don't let him play on the floor unless he's got a video camera pointed at him. It is so amazing to watch him get up on all fours and try to balance and move at the same time. He seems to be terrified of pushing his body forward and whenever he tries, it makes him cry. Surprisingly, he has no trouble crawling backward! He doesn't seem to crawl deliberately and he obviously has no idea where he is going but he really truly is crawling backward. I can't wait to see him figure this crawling thing out and watch him take off. I realized that if he makes his first little move at school where I can't see him, I will be absolutely devastated.

After spending a week of luxuriousness with my Cutie Pie, I decided that I can no longer be a working mom. After mulling it over in my head for a few days and of course, discussing my life changing decision with my husband, I decided to make it official. I resigned from my job! It was the moment most people only dream about! I walked into my supervisor's office and I told her that I wanted to resign. At least that's what I tried to do. She wouldn't let me quit. My boss simply said "No."

What do you mean "No?" I was completely baffled. I can quit if I want to and you can't make me stay! My boss thought fast and told me I could work from home and schedule my office appointments in the evenings around my husband's schedule. I know that many women ask their employers for schedules like mine. I wish I could say that I hammered out a deal with my employer but I'm afraid that I am just too naive for such manipulation. I was just really, really lucky.

It was positively painful to even consider quitting my dream job. It was even harder to think about missing out on precious time with my Cutie Pie. There seems to be no right answer. You either choose to work and feel guilty at leaving your child to be raised by someone else or you choose to stay home and lose your professional identity in the process. It looks like I will be learning to balance too.

http://theadventuresofcutiepie.blogspot.com/

Back to Work

Now that I am back at work, it's back to pumping breast milk for my Cutie Pie. Each day while I am at work I have to make Cutie Pie's lunch for the next day. It is not always easy.

Breastfeeding on the job is a tricky affair. First you need privacy. Luckily I have an office with no windows. Next you need an electrical outlet to plug in the pump. I have the hardest working outlet ever. It powers a computer, a lamp, the filter for my fish tank, my radio, my digital photo frame with pictures of Cutie Pie constantly playing on a loop all day and now my electric pump. Then you need something to cover up the woosh, woosh noise of the pump. Thank you, radio. A lock on the door is a must. Check! Finally, you need time to actually pump. This one can be a bit complicated.

Sometimes I think I have discreetly slipped into my office when I hear, "Bang, bang, bang! Are you in there? I need to talk to you!" I don't know about you but I just don't feel comfortable having a conversation through the door while I am pumping a bottle. I know you probably think that is strange but I don't like it when people talk to me in public bathrooms either. Boundaries, people! Anyway, my dilemma here is that my coworkers do not know what I am doing but they know I am in my office so they think that I am ignoring them. This has actually caused some conflicts for me in the office. Pumping takes up time that I really should be working. I have gotten quite good at holding my pump while typing and writing. The only thing I absolutely refuse to do is answer the phone.

I have to schedule pumping into my already very busy day and sometimes my schedule doesn't go as planned. Today was full of emergency appointments and surprises. I had to rush through appointments to get people out of my office to avoid having an accident. When you have to pee really bad, you can still hold it. But when it's time to make a bottle, it's time to make a bottle!

Breastfeeding also pays a physical toll on me. My hair is falling out in clumps. It's amazing that I haven't gone bald! I often feel exhausted because it takes so much of my energy. As if it weren't tiring enough to be the mother of an almost six month old baby who remembers that he is teething several times a night!

No matter how hard it gets, it is totally worth it to me to pump for my Cutie Pie. Even though I can't be with him all day, at least I am still feeding him and that helps assuage my crushing guilt at being a working mom. I realize that I am very lucky to have an understanding employer and my own office for privacy. We have noticed that Cutie Pie doesn't get sick as often as the other babies in his class. That fact alone makes it worth the sacrifice. As you know, I don't do well with sick babies!

Also on the bright side, I get to eat like a man twice my size and still lose weight! Best diet ever!

http://theadventuresofcutiepie.blogspot.com/